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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Restroom comedy has always been the safe haven of your Daily, and writers stay alert of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to discover that an online journalist a famous broadcaster owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet within his residence. Reflect for a moment about the Tykes follower who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and was rescued from a deserted Oakwell after falling asleep on the loo at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “His footwear was missing and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And nobody can overlook when, at the height of his fame with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli visited a nearby college to use the facilities in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then came in and was asking the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with the Manchester Evening News. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as the England coach following a short conversation inside a lavatory booth with FA director David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat versus Germany during 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the historic stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his confidential FA records, he stepped into the wet beleaguered England dressing room directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, both of them pleading for the official to reason with Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies located him seated – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies tried desperately to rescue the scenario.

“Where on earth could we find for a private conversation?” recalled Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Only one option presented itself. The toilet cubicles. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of a stadium facing demolition. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I closed the door after us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

Consequently, Keegan quit, eventually revealing he viewed his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's an extremely challenging position.” The English game has progressed significantly during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, while a German now sits in the technical area Keegan previously used. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Current Reports

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women's major tournament coverage regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, elite athletes, role models, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with strong principles … however all remained silent. We hardly glanced at one another, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures officials were once put through by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“What’s in a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to oversee the primary team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and distributed some merchandise, I have decided to put finger to keypad and offer a concise remark. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he anticipated would defeat him. This masochistic tendency must account for his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|